I, as well as my family, have been getting hit with Quit a lot of problems lately. All different kinds, too. The three that stick are all of these court dates, and battle for my cousins’ custody, all the fighting at my house lately, and I’m sure it was obvious, a girl.

   This girl has always cared the world for me, and at first, I didn’t think much of it. And yes, I was annoyed, and I rejected her, quite a bit. We finally dated, and to this day, she tells me she can’t express how happy that short time together made her. I cheated on her.. Which is something I’m not proud to admit, at all. Because that’s not the kind of person I am. As time went on, I just couldn’t stop apologizing. I do, and did, realize that an apology can’t just fix things, especially not something like that. But I promised myself I would show her how much better of a person I really am. Losing her for the time I did after my mistake, made me realize how much I wanted her around in my life, and how much I cared about her. I don’t know how or why she possibly forgave me, but she did. It’s especially surprising because she stated how much she had still cared about me. Unfortunately, she can’t forget, and neither can I. But more time went on, and she has a new boyfriend, and has for a couple months now so far. It hurts. It really does; seeing her with someone else. And as much as she says she doesn’t want to hurt me, and it’s a big deal to her.. I do deserve it. No girl, or person, for that matter, should have to experience the pain I put that girl through. I can’t forgive myself. I just can’t. I tossed aside potentially the Best relationship I have been in to this day. And I hurt someone who came into my life, and truly cared about me. She is just the biggest sweetheart.

   I had my chance, and, I blew it. Right now, I’d give anything to be with her again. And who knows, maybe one day I may get a chance to do it all over, the right way. I can only hope. But at the current moment, I just don’t know what I’m supposed to think. Even everything I typed out wasn’t the whole situation. I’m stuck in the middle of a very awkward situation, and so is she. But right now, I continue to just try and help her with her troubles. Trying to make her happy, like she deserves to be. It might not be in the manner I’ve been wishing for, but, at least she wears a smile.